I love the psychology of elitism, almost as much as I love the psychology of crazy. Which is why I've always been fascinated by the perks granted to the elite. Take for example the perks that are bestowed upon you once you reach the lofty position of tenured university professor: a job for life, an army of indentured grad students and your own private dining hall. I understand the basis for some of these perks. How else would you get someone to forgo the pay associated with private industry without the carrot of lifetime employment? But a private dining facility? Are the students simply unclean?

TheRefrigerator decided to go undercover and find out just what goes on in the faculty dining hall at Santa Clara University.

Restaurant: Loving Hut
Location: 516 Barber Lane, Milpitas CA and 165 University Avenue, Palo Alto CA
Style of cuisine: Vegan
Price: $6.95 - $9.95 (lunch menu)
Vegetarian options: You should hold your birthday party here
Website: Loving Hut

How does one even attempt to explain the Loving Hut? It's a restaurant, a cake shop, the largest Tofurky distributor on the west coast and a recruiting station for Supreme Master TV (whatever that is). An enormous, neon "Loving Hut" sign that is supposed to hang outside the restaurant is nailed to the ceiling inside the restaurant instead. It's one part Wonka chocolate factory (where up is down) and one part Buddhist temple.

See, the Loving Hut has a philosophy and that philosophy is veganism. Throughout the restaurant there are pictures of Richard Gere and Reese Witherspoon, their faces hanging above a caption that reads,

"These smart, beautiful, talented people are vegetarian. Why aren't you?"

If you don't mind a restaurant that has the ambiance of an Army recruiting station then you will probably like the Loving Hut.

Restaurant: Bistro Elan
Location: 448 South California Avenue, Palo Alto CA
Style of cuisine: French
Price: Highway robbery
Vegetarian options: Chanterelle Pancakes for $13, Sautéed Broccoli for $9.75, Chilled Cucumber Soup for $9.75
Website: Bistro Elan

Nobody loves a good French restaurant more than me. After consuming copious amounts of French cooking I want nothing more than to lie down beside my table in the restaurant and fall asleep. My wife can confirm that I've tried to do this on more than one occasion. Which is why I was so disappointed with my experience at Bistro Elan. Bistro Elan is a well established, well reviewed restaurant that serves incredibly bad food at incredibly high prices. We waited so long in-between courses that we almost nodded off from sheer boredom. It would have been the first time I ever fell asleep in a restaurant from something other than contentment.

Just in case you, too, would like to have your wallet drained for no good reason, here is what the amuse-bouche looks like at Bistro Elan:

Restaurant: Darda Seafood Restaurant
Location: 296 Barber Court, Milpitas CA
Style of cuisine: Halal Chinese food
Price: Best deal at the 99 Ranch Market
Vegetarian options: A few tofu dishes

If your place of employ offers lunch, chances are the corners have been cut so many times that things are starting to look like a circle. When I worked at Netflix they served a wretched boxed lunch to all the employees (and the expectation was you would stay in the building and eat this crime against humanity instead of going out for lunch). At my current employ the food is a bit better but a working person needs a cheap, local eatery to survive the daily grind. Enter Darda Seafood Restaurant.

Darda occupies the space of two normal restaurants at the 99 Ranch Market mall. An enormous portrait of Mecca fills the back wall. Underneath a towering Kaaba sit dozens of banquet-style tables and chairs. The whole thing feels like a big Chinese wedding that got booked in a mosque.

Did I mention they serve Chinese food?

Restaurant: Mayfield Bakery and Cafe
Location: Town & Country Village, 855 El Camino Real, Palo Alto CA
Style of cuisine: French technique applied to "organic, seasonal and sustainable ingredients"
Price: You'll wonder if the menu is priced in Swedish krona and weep quietly when you learn that it's not
Vegetarian options: Wide variety
Website: Mayfield Bakery and Cafe

How do I love thee Mayfield? Let me count the ways: your coffee is full of flavor, but never bitter. Like Folger's always promised us but never delivered. Your waitstaff openly wept upon receiving the news that ours had grown lukewarm over the course of our meal. As if hot water had never cooled before. Waiters crawled over one another in a mad rush to bring us a fresh cup of your magical, dark brew. It was a breakfast of perfection.

I don't know if the Peet's Coffee & Tea near you carries Hint Essence Water, but mine does. As a dedicated food blogger I knew I had to give it a try. The bottle promises that,"Hint is a refreshing alternative to soda, juice and other sweetened drinks and it tastes great." Hint actually tastes like plastic, so the bottle is not being completely honest with you.

If you visit the Hint website you'll see that Kara Goldin, creator of bad-tasting Hint, thinks that $2.50 for a 16 ounce serving of plastic-tasting water is a great deal. Kara also wants you to know that her Facebook page has earned 2,795 "Likes" to date. How in the world 2,795 consumers brought themselves to click the "Like" button in regard to this product, however, is a mystery that will forever be shrouded in shadows. I did hear that your palate loses sensation as you grow older, so maybe there's a really big retirement home that lets the residents hang out on Facebook all day.

Restaurant: Quickly USA - New Generation Asian Fusion Style Chain Cafe
Location: 540 Barber Lane, Milpitas CA
Style of cuisine: Asian junk food
Price: Cheap
Vegetarian options: If you care about what you eat you will never eat here
Website: Quickly USA

What won't I eat for this blog? In Episode 3 of our series on the restaurants of the 99 Ranch Market I took a tour of the lowest of low-end cuisine at Quickly. This is what Quickly calls a pot sticker:



It wasn't horrible. But it didn't taste like anything. It was sitting in my mouth and it acted like food, but you could tell it was just phoning in the role.

Restaurant: Maruichi
Location: 530 Barber Lane, Milpitas CA
Style of cuisine: Japanese ramen
Price: $7.45 for more noodles than you can eat
Vegetarian options: All broths are either pork based or chicken based

Episode 2 in our ongoing series on the cuisine of 99 Ranch Market brings us to Maruichi, a ramen house that always has a line outside. Loyal patrons who are willing to wait for a table is usually a good sign, and Maruichi does not let down in this regard. When you finally do get your table, you'll notice a plastic container of kimchi awaiting your arrival.



You might be wondering what a Korean staple food is doing in a Japanese ramen house. Apparently kimchi is extremely popular in Japan and is frequently found in Japanese restaurants. If you haven't tried kimchi before then you should probably take the plunge at Maruichi; their kimchi is delicious. If want to know what's in kimchi then I should probably warn you that you're not going to like the list of ingredients (fermented cabbage and, well... fermented cabbage). But like Gestalt psychology or the Mona Lisa, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

Restaurant: Gourmet Hunter
Location: 550 Barber Lane, Milpitas CA
Style of cuisine: Chinese gourmet
Price: A total deal for the quality
Vegetarian options: Iceberg Lettuce for $6 (seriously, it's on the menu)
Website: Gourmet Hunter

When I think of quick Chinese food... let's just say that visions of sugar plums and lollypops do not dance in my head. You've seen the sauce that I'm talking about, the one composed primarily of red dye and corn syrup. It's sole purpose in life is to mask the freezer burn taste that afflicts the chicken over which it is draped. Every time I see a plate of red goo like that come out of the kitchen I know I've made a mistake. Which is why the prospect of finding a fast, gourmet Chinese restaurant in a mall in Milpitas seemed about as likely as finding a unicorn at a Best Buy. But now that I've actually been to the Gourmet Hunter, a gourmet Chinese restaurant located in the 99 Ranch Market, I think I'm going to have to figure out where my unicorn is going to sleep.

Gourmet Hunter, where have you been all of my life?

At long last I am proud to present the movie that Moby doesn't want you to see: "Giant Baby Attack!" This film is a demonstration of the concepts of dissonance and ostinato as they are found in the Poltergeist score, written by Jerry Goldsmith. Dissonance (a clashing or unresolved musical interval) and ostinato (a constantly recurring melodic fragment) are staples of the horror genre. To see how these concepts work to make otherwise brave people sleep with a light on, read more.

This radiant Dark Knight review just came in from guest correspondent Jason Calacanis. Jason writes:

Paramount Pictures is in trouble and I don't see a Federation ship on the horizon that's going to swoop in and save them. You probably already knew that their star player is looking to get into business with an alleged Indian video pirate. Then just yesterday the studio admitted to losing a $450 million film financing deal with Deutsche Bank. Normally I wouldn't raise an eyebrow over a financing deal gone bad, but apparently some of the funds were meant to cover films currently in distribution. From The Hollywood Reporter:

Paramount's outside financing effort was designed to provide production funds for two dozen or more feature films from its upcoming slate, including "Tropic Thunder," produced by DreamWorks

Next week Paramount screens "Tropic Thunder" for the press. The film is in the can, so there shouldn't be any remaining production costs. Did Paramount just lose their ad budget?

Robert Rodriguez has been in the press lately for his marital woes (pictured here with his woes), but I prefer to think of him as the UT film student that shopped a $7,000 feature for the spanish home video market (El Mariachi) all the way to fame and fortune. If you want to know how he went from total obscurity to being represented by Robert Newman at ICM you should read this early interview. The interview took place during Robert's first trip to Sundance and in it he announced "I created my own film school, the Robert Rodriguez Film School."

Though the school only operated for a short time, six years later Robert released a short called Ten Minute Film School that dissected a chase scene from El Mariachi. He's released additional episodes over the years, which together make up a nice primer on low budget filmmaking. The videos are worth a look, but I wouldn't be much of a whaling captain if I could be comforted with just that. After a little digging I was able to find an early class transcript in which Robert promised to teach the students everything they needed to know about film in ten minutes.

For your consideration, here is the original Ten Minute Film School:

I'm always keeping an eye out for the next big video platform. Nintendo's Wii never really caught my attention since Nintendo doesn't even mention its video capabilities in its marketing campaign. So when I bought a Wii for my daughter's birthday I thought it would be just another toy that the kids abandon after a few weeks. But within a few hours of the console's debut every single member of my household had used the device and an unruly line had formed next to the TV. When I heard my mother-in-law shouting "Die! Die! Die!" at the screen in Korean I knew I had a hit on my hands.

Can this addictive little device be used to deliver video? Read more to find out.

If you read the Wall Street Journal this morning you could not have missed the front page story about Spielberg's impending deal to sell a large stake in DreamWorks to Reliance ADA Group. What you might not have known is that Reliance is also on the radar of Universal Pictures' Worldwide Anti-Piracy Operations group for allegedly pirating Hollywood content.